Working out my feelings toward jazz in a series of text messages to a friend who made the mistake of mentioning ‘jazz’ in a text message to me

  • It’s boring and people who are really into jazz are always the worst people. I mean whatever. I do like some of it. And I don’t judge if people like jazz. But in general it’s not really my thing. Shrug.
  • I hate jazz as shorthand for “classy” or whatever. This is conflating a lot of issues for me right now.
  • I also hate when men think that Frank Sinatra is like the classiest shit ever.
  • Basically I have an eyeroll toward jazz for the same reason I have an eyeroll toward vintage french liquor advertisements or whatever. Dumb people use it to make them seem “classy” which is also the worst word.
  • Basically I don’t have a problem with jazz just people. Ban all people. Anyway cool essay I just wrote.

Fata Morgana (by Dom Domanski)


you’re walking alone in the forest
the moon is directly overhead
eating her supper of astronomy
and wedding-gifts

there’s a thousand miles of trees
in every direction
which means there’s just
enough blood to go around
so you mustn’t spill a drop

of course every second tree
is the Tree of Death
every third one
the Tree of Life
while all the others
are doors to atonement
but you mustn’t knock

you’re like me
and want a straight line
through everything
but there aren’t any here
no path from A to B
no A or B

you’re not lost
this is the earth
you’re not human
but a fox or a rabbit

your life behind a desk
was an illusion
the shining city a madness
brought on by fatigue
there aren’t any cars or telephones
there never were
not a single clothesline or shoelace
in all the world

your heartbeats are so many
peapods being cracked open
between a finger and a thumb
your footprints swallow themselves
as you walk along

what I said about the moon was a lie
there were never any weddings
or any gifts
not an astronomer to be found

the moon is devouring you
just you tonight
with your long ears pricked up
in their sad salute to fear

this hour is called Abandonment
this night Bottomless
I would call you Insignificant
if you weren’t already named Essential
if you weren’t the very centre of the world.

juliaheffernan
juliaheffernan:

These are all of the Blue Face emojis I have made for GroupMe so far. I think my favorite is the guy in the life jacket (row 8, column 2). What’s your fav??  
(Also, you should download the GroupMe app to use them!)

Fun Fact: one time julia told me that literally all of these are based on me.
My fav… maybe the “wtf” guy, third row in the middle. Also: uncomfortable by how attracted I feel to the football player and the wrestler. Bye!!!

juliaheffernan:

These are all of the Blue Face emojis I have made for GroupMe so far. I think my favorite is the guy in the life jacket (row 8, column 2). What’s your fav??  

(Also, you should download the GroupMe app to use them!)

Fun Fact: one time julia told me that literally all of these are based on me.

My fav… maybe the “wtf” guy, third row in the middle. Also: uncomfortable by how attracted I feel to the football player and the wrestler. Bye!!!