Steve Spillman

Subway Stories

So I’m on a Manhattan-bound B train (insanely crowded) this morning and there were a couple of arguments between strangers as we crossed over the bridge. I had headphones in, no duh, so I didn’t really hear what they were saying, but this one guy who was hilariously tall kept hitting people with his backpack and they started to complain and gesture a bunch. It felt awkward. 

Fighting? On Christmas?

And then the train stopped at Grand and a lot of people got off but I was doing that thing where I’m standing sideways right inside the door because I want to get off first at the next stop, and everyone has to sort of squeeze by me? Sorry. Anyway,there’s a crowd of white suburby-type teens and tweens waiting to get on the train, all decked out like an Old Navy commercial and the like—dudes with their floppy Bieber hair and girls wearing headbands or warm hats that look like animals. We’re talking, like, 25 of these folks, and a few chaperones. I don’t even know why they were at Grand Street at 9 AM, but it’s hilarious and crazy.

(Sidebar: I once overheard someone say “all the Asians get off at Grand and all the white people get off at 7th” on a Brooklyn-bound B train. I get off at 7th. Yikes.)

Anyway a couple of people (Asian, yes, sorry) get off at Grand, and then a couple of these goofy white dudes start filtering onto the train, which is never in a million years going to fit all 25 of these people, but they start getting on anyway. Two seconds later, a chaperone starts yelling “wait, wait, come back” and they sighed and got off the train and one of the girls said “again?!?”. Then the doors closed and their whole crowd just sort of looked sad and worried as we pulled away. I don’t really know when they thought they were going to find an empty train. LOLTourists, right?

I seriously did LOL.

Then when we pulled into Broadway-Lafayette, which is where I get off, I started running up the stairs and got up a few flights before getting totally stuck behind this huge dude who was, no joke, watching Love, Actually on his iPad while taking baby steps up the stairs. In what world should that be a thing that people do? He kept going, out the turnstile, and up the stairs to the street, before I finally managed to get around him and rush to work. I sort of hope he finished it.

Notes:

1. lloydsoldout reblogged this from stevespillman and added:

   seriously lol’d. Now inspired...write stories about crazy/everyday things like this that...

2. dansai liked this
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