Man vs. Phone
You know how in high school you learned all the different types of literary conflict? Man vs. Man, Man vs. Self, Man vs. Nature, etc.?
(Apparently kidsthesedays learn “Character vs.”, but whatever.)
Anyway, my days-long dispute with Verizon—the dispute being “you turned off my internet because I didn’t pay the bill because I have never received a bill, but I have the money to pay the bill and all I want to do is pay the bill”—has been resolved, and I feel like I’ve been through all of them.
Man vs. Technology.
Man vs. Society.
Man vs. Self.
Man vs. Man.
Man vs. Woman.
Man vs. Teenagers who hate their jobs.
Man vs. Destiny.
It is done. I have achieved what I came here to achieve. Thanks to a nice woman (deus ex machina) who sounded surprised that I was having issues reaching someone who would answer my simple question, instead of just forwarding me to another automated menu, my internet service has been restored. My home is at peace.
Think I’m gonna become a pacifist. Conflict-free zone, yall.
