![lindsaykatai:
Finally, a dictionary for people too stupid to suss out dictionaries.
Jesus, Google. Just tell me what the word means, like every other dictionary. Knock off the patronizing picture painting.
“Like, okay. You know when you get in a car? And you’re not the passenger? [pause] Sorry, ‘passenger’ was probably too confusing a word for you. Okay, you know when you’re the one who just sits there? That’s a ‘passenger.’ Okay, when you’re driving— [pause] No, you’re not the chair. The chair is not considered a passenger. [pause] Yes, technically the chair just sits there, but people aren’t chairs, you know? [pause] You don’t? Okay, go look up ‘chair.’ [pause] Yes, yes. That’s the one. The one that reads, ‘A chair has a back and four legs.’ [pause] No. I mean, kind of. But no. People don’t have a back and four legs. Two of those legs are called ‘arms.’ [pause] Okay, you know what? Go look up ‘arms’ and— No, not ‘weapons, especially as used by the army, navy or air force.’ I’m sorry, I should have been more specific. Go look up ‘arm.’ Singular. [pause] I’m sorry, you’re right. It was dense of me to assume you would know what ‘singular’ means when you have to look up what an ‘arm’ is. [pause] I’m sorry, I should have said ‘stupid,’ not ‘dense.’ [pause] The irony of your knowing what the word ‘stupid’ means, but not ‘arm’ is not lost on me. [pause] No. Don’t even fucking bother looking up ‘irony,’ okay? We’d be here for days.”
Google Dictionary, I hope that one day you run into the Oxford English Dictionary in a dark alley. You will know it by its tweed suit, monocle, and brass knuckles. It will know you by the stains on your T-shirt, the vacant look in your eye, and the Del Taco cup in your hands.
The definition for “sweet” is about a thousand times worse.
(h/t lowindustrial)](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ku7keu8kcQ1qz9pwao1_500.jpg "lindsaykatai:
Finally, a dictionary for people too stupid to suss out dictionaries.
Jesus, Google. Just tell me what the word means, like every other dictionary. Knock off the patronizing picture painting.
“Like, okay. You know when you get in a car? And you’re not the passenger? [pause] Sorry, ‘passenger’ was probably too confusing a word for you. Okay, you know when you’re the one who just sits there? That’s a ‘passenger.’ Okay, when you’re driving— [pause] No, you’re not the chair. The chair is not considered a passenger. [pause] Yes, technically the chair just sits there, but people aren’t chairs, you know? [pause] You don’t? Okay, go look up ‘chair.’ [pause] Yes, yes. That’s the one. The one that reads, ‘A chair has a back and four legs.’ [pause] No. I mean, kind of. But no. People don’t have a back and four legs. Two of those legs are called ‘arms.’ [pause] Okay, you know what? Go look up ‘arms’ and— No, not ‘weapons, especially as used by the army, navy or air force.’ I’m sorry, I should have been more specific. Go look up ‘arm.’ Singular. [pause] I’m sorry, you’re right. It was dense of me to assume you would know what ‘singular’ means when you have to look up what an ‘arm’ is. [pause] I’m sorry, I should have said ‘stupid,’ not ‘dense.’ [pause] The irony of your knowing what the word ‘stupid’ means, but not ‘arm’ is not lost on me. [pause] No. Don’t even fucking bother looking up ‘irony,’ okay? We’d be here for days.”
Google Dictionary, I hope that one day you run into the Oxford English Dictionary in a dark alley. You will know it by its tweed suit, monocle, and brass knuckles. It will know you by the stains on your T-shirt, the vacant look in your eye, and the Del Taco cup in your hands.
The definition for “sweet” is about a thousand times worse.
(h/t lowindustrial)")
Finally, a dictionary for people too stupid to suss out dictionaries.
Jesus, Google. Just tell me what the word means, like every other dictionary. Knock off the patronizing picture painting.
“Like, okay. You know when you get in a car? And you’re not the passenger? [pause] Sorry, ‘passenger’ was probably too confusing a word for you. Okay, you know when you’re the one who just sits there? That’s a ‘passenger.’ Okay, when you’re driving— [pause] No, you’re not the chair. The chair is not considered a passenger. [pause] Yes, technically the chair just sits there, but people aren’t chairs, you know? [pause] You don’t? Okay, go look up ‘chair.’ [pause] Yes, yes. That’s the one. The one that reads, ‘A chair has a back and four legs.’ [pause] No. I mean, kind of. But no. People don’t have a back and four legs. Two of those legs are called ‘arms.’ [pause] Okay, you know what? Go look up ‘arms’ and— No, not ‘weapons, especially as used by the army, navy or air force.’ I’m sorry, I should have been more specific. Go look up ‘arm.’ Singular. [pause] I’m sorry, you’re right. It was dense of me to assume you would know what ‘singular’ means when you have to look up what an ‘arm’ is. [pause] I’m sorry, I should have said ‘stupid,’ not ‘dense.’ [pause] The irony of your knowing what the word ‘stupid’ means, but not ‘arm’ is not lost on me. [pause] No. Don’t even fucking bother looking up ‘irony,’ okay? We’d be here for days.”
Google Dictionary, I hope that one day you run into the Oxford English Dictionary in a dark alley. You will know it by its tweed suit, monocle, and brass knuckles. It will know you by the stains on your T-shirt, the vacant look in your eye, and the Del Taco cup in your hands.
The definition for “sweet” is about a thousand times worse.
(h/t lowindustrial)
Notes:
-
danforth liked this
-
lonelysandwich liked this
-
ckolderup liked this
-
stevespillman reblogged this from lindsaykatai
-
lowindustrial liked this
-
lindsaykatai posted this
